Our ego is a beautiful protection mechanism that protects us and gives us a way of seeing ourselves. It has a hand in almost everything we do and want. It plays a role in who we want to be and what we want to accomplish. It also pulls some strings in our personality. It has a hand in how we want people to see us. In the jeans that we wear, sometimes even the way we eat. It plays it’s part in how we see other people and if we look down or want to be like them.
So could we ever do without our ego? I personally think that it is a great part of us that defines us in who we are and what we want to accomplish. Our ego can really protect us in staying true to who we are as long as we keep it in a healthy loving place in our lives.
When our ego becomes a problem.
Unfortunately our lives are not always in balance. We could even say that in the time that we live now, creating a balancing life can be quite a challenge! When we feel our life is out of balance our ego is one of the first things that will start to create a problem for us. Instead of using loving dialogue to our selves we start to talk down on ourselves. We are asking ourselves questions. Why am I so stupid that I can’t make it work for myself. Why can’t I find the time to go for this nature walk. Why have I skipped going to the gym so much. How am I ever going to create my happy life when I am such a mess…
This is when our ego starts to rule our lives. Because why are other people so successful. Why is our neighbour able to go to the gym every evening and has even the time beside her/his job to do volunteer work? And from here it can go from first blaming ourselves to hating others around us.
Not feeling good enough and jealousy.
We all have experience with not feeling good enough and jealousy. Unfortunately our ego doesn’t want us to admit it to others and to ourselves. Our ego can even use this to create even more negative self dialogue. This does not has to be a problem if this happens once in a while, but if it starts to become a trend in our lives it can really start to create some roadblocks for us. Constantly comparing ourselves with other people can be really addictive. And instead of letting our passion and creativity flow freely we are slowing it down.
Sometimes it can even completely stops us from doing what we want and love.
How can your ego stop you from doing what you want and love.
- You want it so perfect that there is no use to even try
- You don’t want to look at people that inspire you because it makes you jealous of their accomplishment
- You don’t want to ask for help with your project because it makes you feel weak
- You feel in a constant race with you competitors and get tired just from thinking about it. So you choose do procrastinate instead
How can we let go of the negative aspects of our ego.
It’s important to first create a little bit of peace in our life’s before we go and confront our shadow side of our ego. I know we want to tackle it all now. But that is the ego again that feels we need to be able to fix it NOW.
Create some peace of mind.
First it is important to look at your sleeping pattern. Are you giving yourself enough rest? Making sure that you are well rested is one of the first things you should lovingly do for yourself before you are going to do the inner work. Working with the ego is a very confronting thing to do. So better be well rested first.
Make sure that your body is well nourished. Now this does not have to mean that you need to start a whole new healthy diet, but it is a good idea to maybe add some extra fruits and vegetables to your normal eating habits for a while. This will help to bring some clarity back to your mind.
Honour yourself with a daily moment of peace. Even if it is only 5 minutes and just do something that fills your spirit. Keep in mind that this is not a time for showing off on Instagram or Facebook how well you care for yourself! This is your time that you only share with you.
Time do some reflection.
When you have taken some days to create some peace of mind, it is time to gain some insight in why and how this imbalanced ego was created.
When was it that you started to notice that you were feeling not good enough or even jealous? When you have found that moment, go even back before that. When did the extensive negative self talk start? Now that you have found that moment, you go even more back in time. What were you doing or was happening in your life that created that feeling?
It can really help to do some journaling on the time in our life that created this imbalance in the first place. What can you learn from that? Can you prevent it in the future or could you not because it all had to do with outside influences?
If you can prevent this imbalance in the future you need to congratulate yourself because you just made a huge growing step for your future! You looked at your past and created time to really learn and gain inside on it.
If you can’t prevent a situation like that in the future because of outside influences that had a big hold on your life then please lets give yourself some love! Sometimes stuff in your life just takes over and you need to do the best you can to stay on top of it all. You really did well!
Looking at your ego.
Now that you have created some insight in your situation, you can look more clearly at why you feel you are not good enough.
I personally like to do some tarot readings for myself to gain some insight in why I feel so stuck. Like this one:
Or to write about it like I do here in my blog post.
But what has helped me the most with this last part is forgiveness!
Yes we maybe had terrible jealous thoughts about our friends and the people we love. But really it was all directed to ourselves. And by doing the work we can see that now.
We only fail at something when we decide that we fail. Until then it is just another step to success!